My Superhero!
A nice long walk on the beach.
A early morning run when u were a kid.
A stern but love-lapped voice.
A hug that is even unbeatable by a lovers caress.
Most of us, realize that we all have had a superhero in our lives much before we even knew and realized the notion of heroes, let alone Superheroes. He is not the kinds to have a weird upturned sense of fashion which makes him wear his underwear over his pants, although i'm pretty sure he would do the same without hesitation if you asked him to, or if that brought a smile to your face. And the absence of that smile being his only Kryptonite.
Father, Dad, Bapa, Papa, Appa, Pitaji, Pops.
Known by more than a million names all around the world, it all refers to the hearty fellow in the family.
Continuing of my Random Parade, my thoughts wandered off to the whole process of growing up this afternoon. I found it rather pointless and extremely unsatisfactory. The world was all hunky-dory as a child and it never looked better and optimistic than through a child's eye bundled along with an unbridled imagination. But, my thought was disrupted by my father as he wanted me to tag along with him for some household chore that he wanted my help in. This afternoon gave direction to my reflection back to childhood and focused it on a issue , not only me, but rather every growing individual has to deal with at some point of time or the other.
In General, Childhood memories are precise and clearly remembered unless you've had a rather unpleasant one, in which case it scars you for the remainder of your lives. Otherwise, they seem like the best thing that has ever happened to us and judging by our current direction in life, the best thing that will EVER happen to us. One memory that we all have very precisely etched in our minds is of us having long walks with our fathers and also the very frequent big bear hugs that made our lil' selves engulfed in a sea of warmth emanating from what we remember as the strongest and the broadest torso a man could ever have. For a few, this was collaborated with the snugly prick of the stubble on the strong muscular jaw of the man we all respectively thought was the strongest man on the planet. Till our hormones kicked in and we develop individual character traits (read : egos and attitude), we all thought that our father's were the best people on the planet, the strongest, the most gorgeous, and the most dependable superhero ever to step foot on the soil of this planet.
so why the paradigm shift to hatred/dislike?
where did it all go wrong?
to take things slowly and in a an orderly fashion,
In case of girls,
It is rather a renowned notion around the world so as to the consequences of being a girl with daddy issues. Though most guys are manipulative enough to bend the situation in their favor i would like to stress of the misuse of the tern 'daddy issues'.
For the minority of people who i kno who have genuinely had a rough and an abusive childhood, the term carries a whole different meaning and is completely understood by people who make sense, because often it is this troublesome and painful childhood that helps them gather direction in their lives along with providing motivation to move in the same.
For the majority of the other girls, it is just resentment and pent up anger against their fathers for all the things they were disallowed from doing due to what i can only imagine to be, reservations of an old man.
All men were boys at some point of time and have seen the dark side of the world or were probably THE dark side of the world. After going through Fatherhood, specifically with daughters, the same men are very obviously skeptic about the bad elements in the world.
Their only crime was that they were looking out for their daughter against the whole world and these are what builds up "daddy issues" in women in post-adolescent stage of their lives and provide amusement to the same bad elements of the society. And all the father did was care.
But it is quite obvious upon observation that apart from the brain-damaged 'daddy issue' girls, most girls love their fathers and adore every little thing about them throughout their lives. That is, i'm guessing the basis of the whole concept of 'kanya-daan' ceremony in some way or the other in cultures all over the world.
this also leads to a whole new version of 'daddy issue' type girl, as such girls grow up to dream and fantasize of the same qualities that their father has in their Prince Charming!
but at least the love exists!
In case of Guys,
We are the most dissolution-ed people on the planet!
In Childhood , the father-son relationship is the most sacred bond that we get to witness. There is more a sense of friendship than parenthood in the whole equation.
In a majorly patriarchal society like ours, we clearly remember our first memories of our fathers buying us our first toys and the little precious joy that it gave!
I think that makes us materialistic right from the beginning but i hardly think anyone would like to contest that argument.
Our entire adolescence, we look up to that man and almost ape everything that does/wears/eats/drinks.....and so on. I'm pretty sure that all have that one photograph with our respective fathers with identical clothes on.
He is not only our superhero but almost a demi-god like human being who is all-knowing, all-forgiving and all-caring. All the qualities that we inculcate and the tastes that we boasts of as we grow much older have their deep-seeded roots in our fathers mannerisms and yet most guys claim to have a deep-rooted misunderstanding with their fathers. What a Shame!
As we grow older and the whole hormone shit kicks in, with all the confusion and the chaos, the gap widens between the father and son. All of us claim that our parents do not understand us and hence the communication gap is created and we do not bother mending bridges over these troubled waters.
It usually takes a really long time and a lot of wasted years for us to realize that it was us who did not understand the other mans perspective and were too busy with our heads stuck up our posterior fenestration in the human anatomy!
the most famous example is the sad story of confinement of Shah Jahan by his son Aurangzeb.
dont expect me to write it here, Google it!
But this afternoon was not started by thought of Mughal emperors but by me and my dad doing daily chores.
One thing led to another and somehow we ended up having lunch in my most favorite restaurant in the world which he pretended to like as well. Just as he fake-smiled to keep me happy, i could see the dust fly off this back that had settled over all these years of misunderstanding on my part, and his cape was revealed to me.
My own superhero was back and it was me who had kept him confined for so long.
(btw. all this time i was lost in thought he was showing his dissapointment on how i have lost tract of focus in my life and all the other stuff i knew i had gone wrong in. : D . sorry dad!)
Inspite of all he still loved me as he did then and is still the strongest man on the planet!
just as we were leaving. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton played in the background and i could finally understand the truest meaning of his lament.
Love u dad!
<3
Be Random.
Show Love.
